Stage presence make Dane Cook quotes funny and memorable to everyone. He has preformed on many Comedy Central specials, and had small roles in movies throughout the last 10 years. He is considered one of the best comedians in the world and, Dane Cook quotes are some of the most hilarious one-liners and stories out there.

Most Dane Cook quotes come form his stand-up routines and involve primarily observational humor. Some of his recent work involves topics such as car accidents, and Cook's past employment at Burger King and other places . Cook often refers to these places or things using his own made-up terms. For example, “BK Lounge” is his name for Burger King, Walgreens is known as "The Wall", and "sangwich" is his term for sandwich. Additionally he came up with the acronym bamf, for Bad Ass Mother Fucker. Many Dane Cook quotes involve these topics and are so ridiculously funny that it is hard to read through them without busting up.

If you are interested in finding specific Dane Cook quotes search through our site and a varied selection will be right at your fingertips.

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Son From The Future

I just want to run up and slap my dad's ass and run off screaming, "I'm your son from the future.! Ahh! I'm your son. From the future!"
Dane Cook
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Vette

"Fun fact for ya: First car I ever got head in? 'Vette. It was old and beat-up - the worst condition `Vette I've ever seen. Someone should have been punished for treating it like that. I was seventeen. It was behind a supermarket. Real classy."
Dane Cook
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Turkey Weapon

I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat .... unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead ...
Dane Cook
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Challenging Yourself

I like to challenge myself in many ways. Go from being raw and deviant to light and observational. Vulgar and blunt to eloquent and gentle. It doesn't always work but I fucking commit to it like no one you know. It's all I have so why not die by the sword right?
Dane Cook
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Chaloopa

if a chaloopa is attacking you, ahhhh ... just open your mouth, and just let it
Dane Cook
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