Ability

Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.

Why is it that nobody understands me and everybody likes me?

When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, "No speaka English."

You know what's probably a good thing to hang on your porch in the summertime, to keep mosquitoes away from you and your guests? Just a big bag of blood.

A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn't feel like it.

Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; its when you had everything to do, and you've done it.

Motivation is everything. You can do the work of two people, but you can't be two people. Instead, you have to inspire the next guy down the line and get him to inspire his people.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

(As Samuel L. Jackson) No, I can't stop yelling, 'cause that's how I talk! Haven't you seen my movies? 'Juice', that was a good one! Deep Blue Sea! They ate me! A mother fucking sharke ate me! Drink up, bitch!