| | | 13 others

I Can't Stop Yelling

(As Samuel L. Jackson) No, I can't stop yelling, 'cause that's how I talk! Haven't you seen my movies? 'Juice', that was a good one! Deep Blue Sea! They ate me! A mother fucking sharke ate me! Drink up, bitch!
| | | 2 others

HBO

It's not HBO. It's regular ass TV.
| | | 5 others

Husbands

A husband is like a fire--he goes out when unattended.
Evan Esar
| | | 10 others

American Education

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
Evan Esar
| | | 3 others

Hamburger

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
Evan Esar
| | | 5 others

All Work No Play

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a rich widow.
Evan Esar
| | | 4 others

Women With A Future

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
Evan Esar
| | | 2 others

Zoo

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
Evan Esar
| | | 3 others

Housework

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
Evan Esar
| | | 3 others

Statistics

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
Evan Esar
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