Knowledge

Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.

What really interests me is whether God had any choice in the creation of the world.

Why is it that nobody understands me and everybody likes me?

When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, "No speaka English."

You know how to paint a room real fast? Just put paint rollers on your feet and somehow figure out how to skate up the walls and across the ceiling.

You know what's probably a good thing to hang on your porch in the summertime, to keep mosquitoes away from you and your guests? Just a big bag of blood.

A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn't feel like it.

Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; its when you had everything to do, and you've done it.

When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.