Movies

(As Samuel L. Jackson) No, I can't stop yelling, 'cause that's how I talk! Haven't you seen my movies? 'Juice', that was a good one! Deep Blue Sea! They ate me! A mother fucking sharke ate me! Drink up, bitch!

That's right. What am I thinking? I'm used to sailing down under with the kiwis so everything's backwards and the toilets when you flush them, the water spins the opposite way. Really freaks you out the first time you see it.

We are gonna have tons and tons of oppotunities to meet gorgeous ladies that so aroused at the thought of marriage that they'll throw their inhibitions to the wind.

No! No! We did not have a moment at the dinner table, Todd!

Love doesn't exist, that's what I'm trying to tell you guys. And I'm not picking on love, 'cause I don't think friendship exists either.

She hasn't answered your calls, she didn't respond to any of your letters, she didn't respond to the candygram. God only knows what happened to the kitten you got for her. 'Cause she didn't keep it, and I know you're not raising the goddamn thing. I think it's very obvious at this juncture that she just flat out does not wanna see you anymore.

I'm hanging by a thread. I'm reading don't-kill-myself books.

I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?

You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.

Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye.