Women

Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb.

We are gonna have tons and tons of oppotunities to meet gorgeous ladies that so aroused at the thought of marriage that they'll throw their inhibitions to the wind.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

A husband is like a fire--he goes out when unattended.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a rich widow.

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

I am a man! I don't buy girl products. I don't want to see you walking in while I'm in the shower. And I don't wanna see you in your underwear!

You are eight feet tall. Your boobs are perfect. Your hair is down to there. If I was you I would just walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job, I wouldn't have any skills, I wouldn't even know how to read. I would just be... naked.

You know what? You're gonna have to get over the whole man thing, George! We're women! We have vaginas! Get used to it!